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The Mean Mrs. Jewls
"The Mean Mrs. Jewls" is the twenty-sixth chapter of Wayside School is Falling Down. Synopsis On a particularly bad day, Mrs. Jewls lets her worst get the best of her. Plot This chapter opens by stating everyone in Mrs. Jewls's class thinks she's a nice teacher. However, it proceeds to say they are wrong, and that if the reader believes they have a nice teacher, they're probably wrong too. Inside each nice teacher, it is explained, there is a mean and rotten teacher bursting to get out. Mrs. Jewls is working on changing the bulletin board before class, as a mean voice inside her head tells her to assign the children lots of busy work and make them re-do it if the handwriting isn't perfect. Mrs. Jewls attempts to ignore this voice, rather teaching her class three new things every day, though the voice tells her that it isn't her job to teach them, but rather keep them inside during recess and hit them with her yardstick. The bell rings and the students scurry to their desks. Mrs. Jewls announces they are going to learn three new things: the capital of England, 7+4, and how to make pickles. She explains that the capital of England is London, 7+4=11, and pickles are made by sticking cucumbers in brine. On her desk she has a jar of cucumbers and a vat of brine for demonstration. She decides to ask Joe what the capital of England is, but Joe isn't sure. She tries something else, and asks Jason how to make pickles, and Jason says "Eleven!" Mrs. Jewls remarks that is a right answer, but she asked the wrong question. She asks if anyone can tell her how pickles are made, and calls on Bebe, who says in London. Mrs. Jewls supposes some pickles could be made in London, and tries to ask Calvin what the capital of England is. Calvin has her write the question on the board, so he can see it better, and claims the answer is "E." Mrs. Jewls tries to review the answers, and says the capital of England is London. The class gets sidetracked, Jenny asking if that's where pickles are made, but Allison corrects her, saying only eleven are made there. Stephen asks where the rest of the pickles are made. Suddenly, Mrs. Jewls tells the class to shut up, and keeps them inside for recess. Realizing what she had done, she feels ashamed of herself and writes her name under the DISCIPLINE list. Mrs. Jewls then asks everyone to take out a sheet of paper and a pickle, but quickly corrects herself. Jenny remarks that she thought pickles came from cucumbers, and Todd remarks he thought pickles came from London. Mrs. Jewls asks Todd if he remembered that she just told him to shut up, holding her yardstick above his head. Todd claims he does, but Mrs. Jewls tells him not to talk back. Mrs. Jewls asks again, telling him not to say a word. He responds by nodding, but Mrs. Jewls tells him not to move. She asks one last time, asking for a response. Todd, unsure how to respond without talking or moving, meekly says "Yes," which has Mrs. Jewls slam the yardstick down on his desk. Todd gets out of the way in time, when Mrs. Jewls notices the eighteen inches remaining she is holding in her hand. She apologizes again, and places a check next to her name. She then tries to simplify her lesson, by asking that if she had seven cucumbers in one hand, four cucumbers in the other hand, and she dipped them all into brine in the capital of England, where she'd be, what she'd have, and how many. No one understands the question, frustrating Mrs. Jewls. She picks up the vat and brine, and prepares to test someone on the subject, pouring the brine over their head if they get it wrong. She decides to test Leslie. First she questions what seven plus four is, and Leslie successfully guesses eleven. She proceeds to ask about the capital of England, which Leslie also gets right. Knowing Leslie would probably succeed, she proceeds to throw a curve-ball asking the name of her cousin in Vermont. Leslie answers "Fred Jewls," which Mrs. Jewls exclaims is wrong, causing her to start tipping the brine over. As she starts, Paul jumps out of his seat to tilt it back, but accidentally works too hard, pouring it over Mrs. Jewls. Mrs. Jewls admitted she probably needed that, and that the brine had cured her. Mrs. Jewls circles her name and goes home early on the kindergarten bus. Characters *Mrs. Jewls *Joe *Jason *Bebe Gunn *Calvin *Jenny *Allison *Stephen *Todd *D.J. *John *Rondi *Leslie *Mrs. Jewls's cousin who lives in Vermont (mentioned, debut) *Paul Trivia *This chapter refers back to "Pigtails," where Leslie saves Paul's life and Paul claims he'll return the favor someday. Gallery The Mean Mrs. Jewls 1989.jpg|Joel Schick illustration The Mean Mrs. Jewls 2003.jpg|Adam McCauley illustration Foreign editions The Mean Mrs. Jewls Illustration.jpg|Peter Allen illustration (UK) Leslie The Mean Mrs. Jewls.png|Peter Allen second illustration (UK) Mrs. Jewls Pickles The Mean Mrs. Jewls.png|Peter Allen third illustration (UK) The Mean Mrs. Jewls Kitamura.png|Satoshi Kitamura illustration (Japan) Category:Wayside School is Falling Down chapters Category:Book chapters